People experience a myriad of emotions throughout their lifetime. Ones emotions range from happiness, joy, shock, grief, kindness, anxiety, concern, acceptance, etc. These emotions allow you to experience life and grow. As a result, you learn something about yourself and others around you which help you formulate beliefs and convictions that you have about people and things. Sometimes, ones emotions causes us to avoid taking actions when action is needed.
We all should be aware of and know how to manage our emotions, especially in difficult situations. In addition to being aware of one’s own emotions, we should be able to understand the emotions of people we surround ourselves with. This shows emotional intelligence which is the ability to manage ourselves and our relationships effectively.
Extensive research has shown that emotional intelligence is twice as important as IQ in determining future career success. People with low levels of emotional intelligence are more likely to have difficulty building good relationships with peers, subordinates, superiors and clients (Goleman, 1998).
Here are some ways to help you manage your emotions.
1. Be committed to actively developing yourself
2. Maintain a realistic evaluation of your emotions and how your emotions impact your work performance and relationships. You can do this by seeking encouragement (possibly counselor/friend) or obtain and learn from the feedback of yourself and peers
3. Know your strengths and trigger points. Identify your strengths and dedicate time to develop at least one of your strengths. Also, identify and work on at least one critical area in your life
4. Once you know your strengths and trigger points, accept yourself as you are. Remind yourself that you are not perfect and that we all live in a world full of imperfections
5. Gain insights from mistakes and lessons learned. I always think of failures as learning opportunities that guide you to better and greater things
6. Have a strong and positive sense of self-worth about yourself and know that you are a gift from God
7. Reverse negative self-talk. Say good and loving things about yourself such as I am love or I am at peace. Know that every word you say, speak or sing is an affirmation. Often times, we can say something over and over again and the subconscious mind accepts what we are saying as a fact
8. Keep disruptive emotions and impulses under control. When disruptive emotions arise, refocus on something else; something more desired. Also during this time, you can focus on gratitude and deep breathing exercises
Managing emotions can sometimes be a tough job. However, you have to live a life centered in loving yourself and caring for yourself.
Check out our other articles on emotional wellness at
Book: Working with Emotional Intelligence. Daniel Goleman, 1998
Take a quiz on Emotional Intelligence
Dr. Jessica is owner of The Center for Discovery, http://www.thecenterfordiscovery.net based out of Atlanta, GA and offers books, certification for trainers, and consulting services to help women improve the quality of their lives and discover their best!