Here are some quick suggestions to help you communicate to others your thoughts and feelings in a relaxed state, when you are under pressure.

· Show Empathy. Recognize that all people are different, coming from different walks of life, different background, cultures, and experiences as they walk their own path.

· Activate your listening skills. Make sure you are clear about what you are hearing; take notes or ask questions if necessary. You may want to repeat back and summarize what has been said to make sure you have a clear understanding.

· Step away and get in tune to your inner self.  Be still for a minute. During this time, tell the person you are engaging that you need one minute to get your thoughts together. Take a deep breath and just relax. During this time, you can hone into your inner self and ask for guidance. Determine, in a relaxed state, what are your potential, next, best steps? What should you say or do in response to this situation? During this time, make sure you are using spiritual and social principles and practices as you reflect (e.g., integrity, compassion, forgiveness, patience, courage, faith, disciple, order)

· Clearly communicate your feelings and next steps. Finally, communicate your thoughts and feelings to the person you are engaging in a non-defensive way. State the facts. Begin with the positive; state what you observed and maybe a solution. Ask for feedback. Or, you can decide to follow up at a later time. If you decide to follow up at a later time, come up with several times/places you will follow up on the issue(s). Take care.

Dr. Jessica is a Psychologist and Empowerment Coach with the Center for Discovery. She helps women experiencing a personal or career transition discover their highest potential, using proven principles and practices of mind, body, and spiritual development.
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